Deep Breaths!!

And so it begins... the journey home... my flight was leaving at 1315 so I was up and ready for the off by 10am. And just to really carry on the mixed up hours my body clock was now getting used to, it wasn't after a night of unbroken rest either... at around half 6 that morning I'd been woken by the reception staff at the Millhouse (this time a personal visit rather than a muffled tanoy message that would wake the whole hostel) to tell me I had a visitor!!

I was slightly alarmed at who would be visiting me at all, let alone this early.. most of the people I knew in Buenos Aires were either at the same hostel or would be fast asleep at this hour (or on their way to their beds anyway!) Turned out there was nothing to be alarmed about.. it was Marco, come to say goodbye. Thanks to our several million failed attempts at catching up since Creamfields, this was the last chance so he'd come to find me bless him! I have to apologise to him here too.. given that I'd only had a few hours sleep and had been woken suddenly I don't think he really got much sense out of me that morning... curled up on the sofa's in Millhouse it was hard not to just fall back to sleep again.. but it was nice to see him before I left and a welcome end to my trip. It was good to know I'd made friends that would make that effort for me which only served to make me even more emotional about it all coming to an end! Marco... I hope you had fun for the rest of your time in that fantastic city and be sure to look me up should you make it to my side of the planet.

With time running out I sent Marco on his way so i could finish my packing, then all that was left was to wait apprehensively for my taxi to the airport.. with only Kate, Maya and Emily left to say goodbye to. I have to say it all felt very unreal.. I was leaving somewhere but it wasn't like I hadn't moved on from a million places in the past year, so that part was pretty normal to me by now... it was the unfamiliar feeling that I wasn't leaving to get on a bus/plane/train/tuk tuk and find myself at the end of another journey checking into another dorm and making new friends once more... this time there would be no finding a hostel, sitting around on my backpack waiting for a bus to said hostel, hoping it would be decent and wondering what was in store this time around... no, this time there would be someone to greet me at the other end, a car waiting to take me home and no lengthy walks with 21kgs on my back.. it scared me stupid!!

Anyway... my taxi arrived and I said my goodbyes... it wasn't too bad as I knew Kate would be back in the UK the following day too and we had plans to meet up in the next few weeks so that made it easier to say goodbye to my partner in crime from my last few weeks as a backpacker! I will however take the opportunity to say here though.. Kate, you were a fab partner in crime to share my last few weeks with and I'm glad we came across each other in that oasis that is Iguazu, keeping those cheeky boys in line and winding 'Sargeant' Garv up with all our gossiping!! I hope all is well back in Oz and you'll be close enough again soon to meet up and cause some more mischief with!

There was one goodbye that was harder though.. Emily... firstly.. apologies for waking you up chica but I couldn't leave without saying bye! and secondly - you're a little gem Em, I've had a ball with you - from the random encounter on a balcony in Isla del Sol to all those comedy nights in La Paz, you kept me sane, listened to me rant, made me laugh, kept me out til all hours (when I had flights to catch.. I blame you entirely for Halloween.. haha!) and were generally a fab girl to travel with. Thank you for being such a star, I'm so coming to Sheffield for a night out on this side of the world and you're so coming to London for another one lady!!

Anyway... I'm already well into this entry and I've not even boarded the plane!!! Oh well, why break a habit of a lifetime, waffling is clearly my forte!!

Goodbyes said and hostel left, I watched the streets of Buenos Aires whizz by me through the cab window.. I wasn't ready to leave this place and my resolve to return got stronger with every passing mile.. It wasn't that I wasn't excited about going home, a part of me couldn't wait to see my family and friends, flick my brother to annoy him, hug my mum, meet Lolli; mum's new kitten, starting nicking my sister's clothes again.. it's just the other part of me didn't want to leave all this behind. I was just beginning to feel at home in South America and have a little confidence in my limited Spanish, not to mention not wanting to stop being carefree and able to wander wherever I wanted, whenever I wanted.

But enough of that.. the time had come and so be it.. my flight was transitting through Sao Paulo so the first part of it was only a few hours duration, we only touched down to re-fuel and pick up more passengers so I didn't get to venture onto Brazilian soil again but I did find myself with a spare seat in the middle of my row... and somehow, with very little communication the guy on the aisle seat and I came to an arrangement whereby I had the spare seat and he got the spare floor space.. suited me fine, legs curled up on the seat, blanket over me, in-flight entertainment.. Go! I'd even remembered to request a vegetarian meal, possibly the only time throughout my entire trip.. and yep, stil veggie.. I know there was some speculation as to whether I'd last as one throughout SA, Argentina specifically! My only disappointment flight wise was that my row companion was not in the least bit interested in being friendly/chatty... I was feeling somewhat choked up about going home and also perhaps a little proud that I'd managed to survive a year around the world on my own.. I think I just wanted to share that with someone.. or at least just have a chat.. instead I contented myself with movies, books and my 'Must Do' list for the future.. I was determined not to let go of all those 'post-holiday' resolutions you have when you return from a trip. I get them after a 2 week holiday in the sun, you can imagine the length of it after a year away!! (btw.. the pic on the right above is taking off from Sao Paulo and on the left here.. somewhere above the clouds during sunset between SP and London!)

Anyway.. after all of the above and a vague (and unsuccessful) attempt at sleeping some of the journey away.. all of a sudden the lights of London lit up the ground beneath me.. the London Eye, Parliment, London Bridge.. all those sights I'd seen a million times, familiar yet so surreal.. I was actually here (as you can see in the somewhat blurred photo here) The pic below was taken in flight somewhere en route.. the last pic of me before returning to English ground once more! There was no escaping the fact that I'd be touching down on home soil in a few short moments. I really was coming home! Oh my God! I didn't want to get off the plane!

In truth, I was very slow in doing so.. stupid as it may sound, the minute I walked off that plane and out through departures it really was over.. my dream since the day my cousin came home from her trip, me aged 14, listening in awe to tales of the Taj Mahal, the golden beaches of Australia's east coast, Thailand and it's colourful vibrance... each story making me want to explore more of the world. I'd actually done it. Ok, a few years later than it perhaps should've been, but better late than never!

So.. here it was.. the moment I'd been dreading and dying for all at the same time... even writing this now gives me goosebumps thinking about it and I'll admit now to what I did before walking through the arrivals door; I just stood there, for a good few minutes, not quite able to bring myself to put one foot in front of the other.. knowing my Mum and Lottie were on the other side looking to see if it was me walking through every time the automatic doors opened in front of them. This entry isn't titled 'Deep Breaths' for nothing - I actually did have to take a few before I could actually complete the last few steps of my trip...

All that said, as sad as I was for this to all be ending, if you really think about it... I don't think it'll ever quite be over... as the Thai's say... Same Same but Different! In so many ways I'm the same girl that left Heathrow scared out of her mind a year and a day ago while in so many other ways i'll never be quite the same again... which, I for one, am more than happy about.. bring on the adventures... xxx